Introduction In today’s society, cohabitation has becomea open lifestyle which is not so new and strange towards the youth around theworld. “Cohabitation” is the word that usually refers to the couples who livetogether and share a common domestic life in a close-knit relationship like thespouses without registering. It is increasing and more popular as the rate ofcouples who accept living together tends to rise, including people havingsteady job and even students. People in the East and the West have very differentthoughts about this issue. Living together has been a common pattern amongpeople in the Western world, especially in European countries because “insexual revolution occurring in Western countries at the early 60s of lastcentury, premarital cohabitation was very normal” (Nhu Trang, 2005), but Easterncountries also have had the changes in social norms and rules related tocohabitation which lead to the rise in this area. Naturally, from culturalperspective of the East, it is still difficult to accept living togetherwithout marriage. However, this current societal trend is gradually reducingthe rigorous prejudices about living together as a necessity of modern societyalthough it still exist the debates surrounding this issue.
This paperdiscusses the positive and negative aspects to know whether young people shouldtry cohabiting.2. Discussion of findings2.1. How young generationcohabitates Due to the effects of the 70s’ sexualrevolution in the West, the status of sex and premarital cohabitation has risenin recent years. Instead of living officially together under one roof afterregistration of marriage and wedding, they decide to cohabitate and sharehousehold duties like other husbands and wives.
This mainly happens in largeurban centers where industrial zones, factories, offices, schools, etc. heavilyconcentrate. They are mainly workers, employees having a steady or temporaryjob and students attending university. There has been a similar point betweenthem that is living away from home and having to take care of their own life.Besides loving someone, they also need a partner to help them share the burdensof personal daily life.
So the lover is one of the best choices to solve this problembecause there are sufficient affection, sympathy and empathy, which help theywilling to support each other. Talking about status of living together in currentgeneration, it seems absolutely exact for the assessment: “Cohabitation has become so common thatit’s almost odd not to test drive a partner before marriage”, and “couples aretesting the waters before diving into marriage” ( Lauren Fox, 2014) Cohabiting after the time, it will be ahappy ending if they feel pleased to two people – life and decide to betogether in an official marriage. But if it does not appropriate with them,they will break up and do not need the laws. According to a report by theMinistry of Vietnam Health, there wasabout 44% of adolescents accepting to live together before marrige and theyconsidered that it is normal (cited in L.Anh, 2013).
Moreover, the number ofyoung men is outnumbered than women. It seems that the young feels excitedabout and “not all of the young like living together; but in general, theirpsychology is likely to try” ( Dr. Nguyen, cited in Nhu Trang, 2005).2.2. What benefits will be broughtto the couples if they live together?Thecohabitant can bring more happiness to the couples when they have more timeliving together. There are so many young people who suggest that cohabitationis a reasonable choice before marrying and does not mean that morality andlifestyle, which is distored and damaged.
As the way to justify their opinion,a list of advantages is given. Firstof all, this is a change to spend more time for their lover. Nowadays,studying, working, taking care of themselves occupy nearly all of timetable ofeach person. It is very difficult that people in a relationship can arrange anappropriate time with special man or woman in their life.
However, the coupleswill no longer have to worry about it if they move in together. They can see,share happy moments and take care of each other everyday in private space thatonly has two people. This also mean that spending time together contributes toloving relationship becoming more increasingly intimate.
Furthermore,cohabitation is an opportunity for anyone who wants to know specially what theycare about they partner. In fact, a humorous truth often happens to marriedcouples when the ladies or the man complain that their spouse of before andafter marying are two entirely different people. They feel extremelydisappointed, even regret because of marrying decision.
Obviously, dating timecan help you understand a little bit about the “enemy”; but, living togetherwill open the door to go to the individual life of other one and provide moreinformation about the interests, lifestyle and many other things of they. Sothey will determine whether that person is right for them or not. Also,understanding spouse clearly befora decide to mariage can help to reduce thedivorce rate. Therefore, cohanitation is a great opportunity to get to know theother one better and building a stronger relationship.Financesometimes is also a quite headache problem towards the young people living awayhome, especially at the end of each month. They have to work hard to earn moneyand pay bills for electricity, water, housing rent, … However, all worriesabout this will bi solved if they decide to move in a house. Financial pressureof two individuals will reduce up to a half when thay live in one house,especially bebeficial for low income individuals who is facing financialunncertainty. They can support each other to overcome the difficulties andcertainly all work will be solved easily if they do not want to do itthemselves.
However, in the relationship, when two people make a decision “ownsomething together”, they should reach an agreement about their financial fundbecause money is a sensitive issue and they can avoid troubles if they breakdown after that. 2.3. What problems are caused by cohabitationbefore mariage?Beforediscussing about the issue that whether the couples should or should notcohabitate, one thing is very clear that living together is not entirely badbecause of some optimistics sites. Moreover, no one force them to cohabitate,they have the right to choose and lives their own life. However, people shouldnot ignore many outstanding issues causing negative significant impacts fromthe perspectives of society and culture that cohabitation may lead to.
Firstof all, cohabitation is not as unstable as marriage. After experiencing a timeof living together, many couples emerge the contradictions that have no way todeal with. When they fall in love with someone, they just look at the bestaspects of their lover. It will be easy to make mistake if they decide to live togetherquickly without mariage, whereas two sides have not yet know much about eachother.
A common thing is that during the early they feel that two-people lifeis happy and romantic; but “many couples live together happily for a while andthen break up, or marriage but happiness is not perpect. Contradictionlifestyle leads to the divorce rate that is 27,7% …” (Prof. nguyen, cited inHoa Le, 2014). Beside, different from marriage witnessed and tied by law,cohabitation is the life that they accept voluntarily without any attachment.While “the wives and husbands would be inhibited and upset with a few badhabits but they accustomed gradually to accept and know how to live happier”, living-togethercouples sometimes lack a little sympathy and tolerance, finanly ” to anunbearable level, it will be ready to explode like a ticking time bomb” ( Trithuc tre, 2015).Secondly,the girls have to sufferthe discrimination from others if they cohabite.Different from the West’s intellection, for Easterners in general andVietnamese people in particular, their socialty still attaches the greatimportance to the women’s innocence. The traditional culture and customs inthere have prescribed women that they have to serve their virginity beforebecome a wife, a daughter-in-law of another family.
A virginal woman isconsidered to express the virtue and direct to sustainable spiritual values oflove and marriage with her spouse. The girls living with their boyfriend beforemarriage are often evaluated as indecent and facile in romance. This affectssignificantly to their honor; for example, when a girl and her ex-boyfriendhave ever cohabitated, it is difficult to love and get married another manbecause his family do not want to have a bad virtue daughter-in-law, and worrythat their son can be cheated. Even, a group of students at Tay NguyenUniversity carried out a survey and statistics that the majority of people(85,7%) identified cohabitation affect cultural norms and ethics of the Vietnamese; 96% said that it wouldadversely affect to health, psychology, academic results, sometimes quiteheavy, especially for women (cited in Trung Chuyen, 2012). Addictionally, living together leads to more and more casesof unintended pregnancy.
Although thesociety is familiar with pregnant girls without the husband, they still cannotavoid prying and unfriendly gazes. This put those girls under enormous pressureand affects badly to the health of mothers and her fetuses. So, the couplesshould “try to say no to cohabitation without actually willing to be the best”,and “equipping knowledge, living responsibly and bravely as well as respect towardstheir love to wait a perfect happiness” ( Dr. Hoang, cited in Minh Tam (VNN),2013).
3. ConclusionFromall the finding above, we can see that cohabitation is similar many otherproblems because its has always two opposite sides. Everyone can not say thatit is good or bad, and people should deny or support it completely. The natureof living together depends on the appreciation and thinking about lifestyle ofeach person. Take youself a clear thought and give a right decision if anyonereally want to start a new life with the partner without marrying.
A meaningfulslogan of Vietnamese young generation nowadays that is “you only live once” remindthe youth that they should not waste the most beautiful time of real life forthe belated remorse as cohabitation.