Charactersof Abusers in Domestic ViolenceNameInstitutionCharactersof Abusers in Domestic Violence Domestic violence refers to a person’s aggressivebehavior against his or her partner in their relationship (Wilson, 2009). Itinvolves both emotional and physical violations and the abusive partner tendsto control the other. Most of the victims of domestic violence are womenalthough both women and men can be abused. Incase children are involved in theabusive relationship; they are subjected to emotional trauma or psychologicalproblems because it is usually a disturbing ordeal.
The abuser manipulates,threatens and intimidates the partner for personal satisfaction (Wilson, 2009).He or she lacks the ability to manage anger although some people believe thatin some cases the victim provokes the abuser to act violently. Certainpsychological, economic, social and cultural factors instigate domesticviolence; making it to be regarded as a learned behavior. Perpetrators areoften exposed to violent environments, either from childhood observations orfrom the immediate community, before they develop actions of domestic violence.Characters of abusers in domestic violence include hypersensitivity, jealousy,verbal abuse, unrealistic expectations, physical violence, they tend to isolatevictims from social support and they practice alcohol or substance abuse (Wilson,2009). .
An abuser in a relationship often uses his or her jealousyto show that he or she has a strong emotional connection to the victim (Lowenstein,2005). Abusers often complain vehemently when they see their partners withpeople of the opposite sex even if there are no ill-motives. They becomeobsessive as they insist on controlling their partners’ daily schedules. Theyalso question their partners concerning who they spoke to or saw during the dayand they call quite frequently or trace their partners. Abusers always fearthat their partners might but their jealousy is more inclined to a sense ofinsecurity.
Another character of abusers is hypersensitivity. They becomeextremely annoyed at any slight setback and they claim that they are taken forgranted. They become extremely annoyed at any slight setback and they claimthat they are taken for granted.
When situations are difficult or negative,abusers in domestic violence blame their partners and perceive the incidents aspersonal attacks towards them. They always complain about the injustices theyface in the situations without considering the perspectives or intentions oftheir partners. For this reason, they engage in physical violence orintimidation. Verbal abuse is also a common character among abusers.They say uncouth things to deliberately hurt or offend their partners.
He orshe degrades the partner to make him or her feel useless or worthless. Abusersbelittle their partners’ accomplishments and make them feel like they areunable to function. They shout at the innocent partners, using their weaknessesagainst them. Most of the hurtful words reflect their partners’ secrets thatthey had knowledge of when the partners confided in them earlier in therelationship. Abusers also elicit unrealistic expectations in theirrelationships. They expect their partners to take charge in providing foreverything and meeting all the needs in the relationship. They use reversepsychology and emotional blackmail to compel their partners to do everythingfor them, including their own mess (Wilson, 2009).
In the same line expectingunrealistic actions, the abusers depict low self-esteem and still blame theirpartners about how they feel. Abusers are usually physically violent. If their partnersare keen, they will discover that they have a history of physical abuse in pastrelationships (Wilson, 2009).
They hit their partners or throw objects at thembecause of their violent temper. They also use sex as a form of aggressionrather than a mutual agreement. They can also punish animals or childrenbrutally because of the unrealistic expectations and mood influx (Zoldak, 2009).
They view children as small adults and expect them to act in a responsible way.If they do not, the abusers punish them violently and continue to force them toact beyond their abilities. In most cases, once the abusers inflict physicalpain on their partners, they expect them to be silent about the ordeal and theytry to talk them into believing that it was their fault. The talk also involvesthreats of hurting them again. To cover up the incident, the abusersparticipate in looking for medical help if the innocent partners developedmajor injuries from the violent acts. Abusers also tend to isolate victims from their friendsand families.
Since they are obsessive, they want full attention from theirpartners and they are mostly afraid that their partners will expose them to theirclose ones. They usually portray a normal picture when in public in such a waythat people think there are no problems in the relationship. On the other hand,they are aggressive and violent when they return to their private setting. Inthis case, they depict two opposite personalities (Lowenstein, 2005). Theycurtail their partners’ social interaction.
They demand that they go placestogether with their partners. They may manipulate the emotions of theirpartners as a way of victimizing themselves when they say they are not loved orrejected if their partners show emotional connections to their parents orbrothers and sisters (Wilson, 2009). They also argue that their partners’friends intend to cause trouble in the relationships. They trace their partners’mobile phones and other devices to confirm if they are in touch with theirfamilies and friends. If so, they become extremely angry to the point ofviolence. Most abusers practice alcohol or substance abuse. Theyindulge in excessive intake of such substances which in the long run impairtheir ability to make sound decisions. Drinking and abuse of substances may notnecessarily imply that an individual is abusive but they increase the risks ofviolence in a relationship.
Most men who are enrolled in batterer interventionprograms also have substance abuse issues (Lowenstein, 2005). Apart fromimpairing their ability to make sound decisions, substance abuse enhancesviolent actions. In some relationships that are based on alcohol or substanceaggression, the abuser is in search of a power status.
It increases theabuser’s sense of domination and personal power. Substanceabuse also instigates fear and weakness among the innocent victims. Both theabuser and the victim can fall into depression because continuous assaultaffects their psychology (Zoldak, 2009). The victim may be depressed because ofdifficulty in coping through the violent relationship while the abuser may alsosuffer from underlying issues (Lowenstein, 2005). In some instances, the abusersforce their partners to indulge in substance abuse so that they can feel thatthey are not alone in the process. The victims may also resort to substanceabuse as a way of coping with the constant maltreatment they experience in therelationship. The relationship of substance abuse and domestic violence iscomplex but the prevalence of domestic violence shows their concurrence inmajor cases.
ReferencesLowenstein,L. F. (2005). Domestic violence recent research (2004-2005). Police Journal, 78 (2), 147-157.
Wilson,M. (2009). Domestic violence.Detroit: Greenhaven Press.Zoldak,J. (2009).
When danger hits home:Survivors of domestic violence. Philadelphia: Mason Crest Publishers.