This is how it
Step one. Ignore
Just look at
You will never
be that one in five
Step two. Trust everyone, and do not listen to your instincts
when they tells
you to be careful.
trust in yourself
You have always
been smarter than this.
Only dumb girls
get themselves there
Keep being smart.
Step four. When
he flirts with you and
tell how many
girls he has been with
Pretend not to notice when he looks at you
your track shorts. You’re the one who picked out these clothes.
Step six. Remember—this
is typical, this is normal.
This is okay.
Remind yourself that you know him
he is a player
but not a predator.
He gets good
grades and pays when you go out.
pay for pie shakes.
Don’t question anything. You’re having
Step nine. Know
that you’ve been here before, past the piano
where he plays
Beethoven and Mozart for you, behind the 70-inch flat screen.
Step ten. Say
thank you when he says you’re attractive. Say sorry for being in the way when
he grazes you breast. Tell him he’s funny when he talks about much fun your
boyfriend must have with you.
Don’t use the word rape. Do not use the word rape.
Step twelve. Remind
yourself that you didn’t say no, right?
Write. Write until you remember the reasons,
or invent them
Try to forget everything. Forget the letters to your name, forget
case of Assassin’s Creed on the shelf,
the arm of the
speedometer stretched out for help,
the feeling of
his hand on your neck and
Step fifteen. Forget
about what happened last time you turned left on Summit Creek Lane. Tell
yourself it didn’t happen for 481 days
So that when he
asks you to hang out again,
you won’t be
When he asks you to come upstairs
make sure you
have a good enough reason to decline.
Say no this time,
even when you’re
pressed up against the wall
even when left
cheek abrades his Egyptian linen.
Step eighteen. Remember
monsters only exist in fairy tales.
Picture him as a child. Maybe that will make him human again.
Remember there is never a good enough reason. He will get what he wants from
Even if he must